I don't know how not to be angry.
it's the safest thing to be
when you don't know
and when you feel a friend leaves you, deceives you
and everyone tells you this is so
I don't know
so I get angry
For a few moments, I do want to die
because I've not felt this way in such a long time
never the rage
never the hatred
I always feel that I must go on the offensive
that words and silence aren't enough
I want to squeeze that white white neck
or break those wiry arms...
But I am taught to be civilized now.
To be patient and wait
while my family
and my heart screams for blood
so I can't talk.
I can't even be around- I make mistakes
and stumble over myself.
I can't be eloquent
in this situation.
I don't know how to not be angry.
I don't know if she'll ever get this. It's my way of an apology. I don't even know if I feel one is due...I dunno. Things have gotten out of hand and I'm just venting and augh. Definitely not my best.
believe it or not, i actually really like this one (: the repetition is striking and the few lines of "I always feel that I must go on the offensiv'e / that words and silence aren't enough / I want to squeeze that white white neck / or break those wiry arms...