Tell you

I'm afraid to tell you
because I love you so much

I don't want you to be disgusted
even though
it wasn't my fault that it happened
so long ago

I don't want to have to tell you
to turn off your sense of humor,
so biting,
to spare my feelings-
to tip-toe around the tender spots in my heart.

I just wanted to be okay
right away
for you
and I told you that I was
miraculously, magically
fine
so that we could get on with our lives
and forget the past...
but you never forget
anything.

so, how could I tell you
that I'm still hurting?