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FatherI don't understand why he takes care of me
I am a burden and a mess
that goes from place to place
hurting and dumping her baggage on everything around her
I have disappointed him in so many ways
forgive me, daddy.
What ifWhat if I can't do this?
What if I can't grow?
because I'm so afraid
that I can't function
without someone to take care of.
I don't know how to want to better myself
it's a shaking that comes upon me
earth-breaking and lonely
breath comes hard
and softly goes my heart
because I'm tired
and I'm not even sure I know how to try
IncensedI don't know how not to be angry.
it's the safest thing to be
when you don't know
and when you feel a friend leaves you, deceives you
and everyone tells you this is so
I don't know
so I get angry
For a few moments, I do want to die
because I've not felt this way in such a long time
never the rage
never the hatred
I always feel that I must go on the offensive
that words and silence aren't enough
I want to squeeze that white white neck
or break those wiry arms...
But I am taught to be civilized now.
To be patient and wait
while my family
and my heart screams for blood
so I can't talk.
I can't even be around- I make mistakes
and stumble over myself.
I can't be eloquent
in this situation.
I don't know how to not be angry.
inspiringhe is inspiring
never have I heard of anyone
who snatches the air from my lungs as he does
who thrills me with the vivacity
like he can
as I heard each breath, shaking with the intensity
of his words
rolling in his mouth as rocks do
tumbling into my ears
with all the grace and noise and energy of puppies
I am swept away
I take joy in them, these messy words
cut and sown together
like Joseph's coat of many colors
there's beauty in it
i am one of you
I can hear his conviction
rattling like a cough in his chest
he sounds feverish
and his fervor is a strength
tongue lapping up the attention of his listeners
slamming doorsEvery time I hear them argue,
a chill (just a shiver) runs down my spine.
And every time I see anger
in their eyes,
I am a child again
I prepare myself - just a little -
for their voices, raw and strained, barraging my eardrums
for the thud of objects thrown
(although, sometimes they're only punches)
cocooned in blankets, locked in my room
I remember my father's impassive face,
the rage in my mother's words
the realization that my sister and I
will grow up to become them
Every time I hear them argue
I am afraid.
VaninYou speak a language
that I don't
it is heavy and thick
resounding from your chest
words forming in your throat
it has no rules,
but easily understood by those born
as you were
You speak a language that is harsh on the ears
and soft on the lips,
the syllables rough and
'round your tongue
you speak of ugliness and of suffering
in a clipped and angry tone
it's still so beautiful
when you speak
I feel that I knew you
before I knew you.
You were in my words and my thoughts.
You were hard to understand, at first,
but I grasped at you.
I began to know you
as no other has known you before.
and, even though knowing you
has changed all that i had known before
I don't regret you.
She wears a red hat.She wears a red hat, a small cap, the only piece of color in her grey world. A breeze snapped at her face, her bangs stirring. She kept her slightly curling black hair braided, over her shoulder where so that it couldn't trouble her. She sighed as her boots kicked and splashed in the puddle.
The park was where the girl in the red hat always went when she felt that she was unable to cope; sometimes it was hard to live with her mother. The woman had grown steadily more resentful of the man who had left her - resentful of his new wife, his new child, his new happiness.... But the girl paid this no mind. She knew the man loved her still, in his own way, but could not bear to stay any longer. She had long since accepted this fact - understood it.
Sometimes she would meet the man in this park without her mother's knowing. The two of them would sit together on a park bench in silence, enjoying the day and a hot hoagie for lunch - or take walks down the well-trod path. He never had been one fo
Tell youI'm afraid to tell you
because I love you so much
I don't want you to be disgusted
it wasn't my fault that it happened
so long ago
I don't want to have to tell you
to turn off your sense of humor,
to spare my feelings-
to tip-toe around the tender spots in my heart.
I just wanted to be okay
and I told you that I was
so that we could get on with our lives
and forget the past...
but you never forget
so, how could I tell you
that I'm still hurting?
maybe i'm too busy being yours.i. i am still looking for the glue
you used to put me back together
it's maybe hidden in the back of your throat
ii. he tried his best
and i'm not saying it wasn't a valiant effort
i'm saying that i can't feel any other way
i have tried my best too
iii. you are coffee-coated
and shit talk free
and i think that's what i liked about you
the fringes of your obscenity
were never going to be front-page news
iv. you were not the source of my sadness
and i think i made you think it was
so you could fix me
and i'm still wondering if people can really be fixed
i would say yes
until the way the winter leaves me paralyzed in my bed
reminds me that i'm not okay
and i never have been
v. i don't want you to love me back
(i mean i do but i'm done hoping so hard)
i just want you to know
that i will always be there
i can't really be anything else
LemonsIf life gives you lemons
Make hot chocolate <3
It warms your heart
Dries your tears
Makes you smile
Vanquishes your fears
Have a cup with me
And together we'll make
A perfect fantasy
sometimes hate is not enoughi feel guilty
because the chances are
i'll ruin your life
and all i'll do afterwards is write about it
PerdicionTe conocí en invierno, las calles cubiertas de nieve, el frió carcomía nuestras pieles,
tu piel pálida y congelada, intentado calentar tus manos.
Ese día, aquel donde sentí un fuerte impulso de hablarte en cuanto te vi, sentado en la banca del parque moviendo tus piernas para entrar en calor, solo guiada por un impulso
me acerque a ti, te di mi bufanda y gantes, luego solo me fui.... sin preguntarte
tu nombre, ni de donde eras, ni que hacías, solo me fui.
Días pasaron, y no te volví a ver, creí que solo fue coincidencia el haberte encontrado para evitar que murieras congelado, pero increíblemente nos reencontramos en mi cafetería favorita, te distinguí de inmediato por que traías puesta mi bufanda y guantes..... aun recuerdo tu rostro confundido ... como si buscases a alguien.
Recuerdo tu rostro iluminarse cuando giraste en mi dirección. Me dijiste que mi bufanda tenia olor a
he's got a girlfriend anywaywe both know
that it's hard to write about
it's taken me seven months to start
while you slept, i burnt your crimson sheets
and painted your ceiling purple
part of me thought you might understand
i was trying to show you how i felt
i was being brave
it was how i wanted to tell you
but i was destroying more than i created
(just spread your love
set fire to the storms)
i tried to tell you
but i was tied to tracks
and it's too close for the train to miss me when it stops
if there is still a chance
you might need me
you will find me where we fell in love
sitting under cherry dark skies
with shaking fingers crossed
and blood stained lips locked
need and greedI keep wondering
if it's too much to ask
for you to tell me you love me
like you mean it with every
measure of your being,
like you want to say it
to remind me
that I deserve the smiles I surrender to,
like you are holding the words
upon your tongue
and letting them loose
louder than cannons from rooftops
in the way that breaks
the silences that I've caged myself in,
I keep wondering
if it's too much to ask
for you to tell me you love me
like you need me
to believe it.
LovesicknessI've only known you for a few days,
Yet still this longing feeling stays.
It makes me hate my in active ways,
I need a distraction, for the longer I laze,
The more I think of how you amaze.
Without your touch I feel so alone,
Anywhere near you could feel like home.
So please let me near, it's my heart that you own!
After all, you said that you love me so dearly,
Do why can't I hug you at least yearly?
The girl he loves...
The girl he loves is not perfection.
But the girl he loves doesn't have much depression.
The girl he loves is too talkative.
The girl he loves is crazy and wild.
The girl he loves is much much expressive.
The girl he loves can be over-obsessive.
The girl he loves is pretty but she denies it.
The girl he loves is always laughing and smiling.
The girl he loves can't rhyme or rap.
But the girl he loves is me.
And that's a fact.
you're already the voice inside my headyou are the canvas
of the inside of my eyelids
it's as if your rose petal cheeks
are mirages on the page
and not in front of me
if i bothered to raise my gloved hand
and grace the back of my knuckles against them
on this february morning colder than my ozone heart
would you drift away
would you ripple into nothingness like pine needles in the breeze
please don't leave
XVII. Leave meYou left me
with a lie
In the beginning
I was fine
of the damage
you'd do to me
Why'd you do me like that?
I don't understand
I can't understand
love at first sight
...until it flooded my body
already infected yours
not just fire
but beyond that
a different burning
a strange, strange longing
to be the only one in your eyes
You left me
when I loved you
you left me alive
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More